Almost two years later...

It's still dark in the office - I haven't turned the lights on yet. Slow but persistently drizzling rain falls on the meagre bushes in the office building's courtyard. The world seams quiet. Only for a moment, though - a wishful moment - and then I hear footsteps and a door slamming upstairs, the cars and lorries on the nearby street and the tapping of my fingers on the keyboard.

What a strange world we have created for ourselves here in “the West”! I spend sometimes ten hours a day in front of a luminous screen and at the end of the day I come home and I realise that if I didn't have to eat and sleep and if I didn't have a few friends and my girlfriend, I'd have barely anything  outside of that luminous screen... most of my worries, fears, hopes and ideas - most of my work, my efforts, my great plans for big changes and most of my connections with friends and family - all of that happens in front of or through this screen!

I have never really worked regularly in an office before. And even in the last three months I have discovered that I have a certain level of physical anxiety that correlates more or less directly with the amount of time I spend in front of my laptop - after a long day with little out-of-office work I feel that my stomach is squeezed, my diaphragm tensed-up and my heart a little nervous. And then there's the back, the tight shoulders... why do I do this to myself? It is so clearly unhealthy, yet such a huge part of my world is determined by this thing - it's incredible!!!

I am not happy about that. It has to change. And I know that it will take years to construct a life where that is not the norm. But that must be the goal.

Since months I have been wanting to write here again. And I could never find the right subject, the right moment, the right setting. My life has turned inside out in many ways since I last wrote here - I was still in Jordan, starting a 'new life'... AGAIN! Haha. Little did I know that the life I was wishing to restart wouldn't be all that different to what life was like before.

Now however, it is certainly a new life. I was plucked out of my old one like a flower from a garden bed and left to start over. What a shock - and what a blessing!

More on that later - hopefully within less than a year. :)