Home and the white horse

I'm at home.
Lately I've used the term "home" to describe my wonderful little house in Amman, or Jordan in general, actually. In the above sentence, I mean a different home - the place I grew up in - a large farmhouse in the depths of Bavaria, surrounded by a small village, snow-covered fields and a little further south: the majestic Alps... it is a truly wonderful place to be and I recommend anyone who reads this to come and visit some time.
...anyone who reads this. Who might that be? I fear that lately the readership of this page has vastly declined, as I've been awfully silent here. Well, t'is for many reasons, as I'm sure you can guess... I guarantee you it's not for the lack of stories, nor for the lack of desire to share these stories - more for the lack of time... NO, WAIT - I actually don't believe in that, but keep saying it... we actually have time, it is just the choices in how to spend that time that make us do certain and not do other things, i.e. it is always a matter of making time rather than having time. So: it is for the lack of mindfulness to make time to share these stories that I haven't done so and I apologise sincerely, although I realise that no number of apologies is going to bring those back that have faithfully checked this page once every now and then, but kept finding the same story and nothing new and have finally given up... well, that's the funny thing about a blog and I think the best thing is just to write it for oneself... although I'd be lying to you if I wouldn't admit to the immense joy that comes from reading comments that give a glimpse of who's actually reading the random rambles and literal ratatouilles one puts out there into the world wide web.

Anyway. It was obvious that I wouldn't manage to write anything here until I actually get out of my crazy new life in Jordan (of which more at another time)... so now that I can rest by a fireplace for some time, with my broken leg up on a chaise longue (yet another story there), I can finally TAKE this time... and I want to share a wonderful story with you that one of my dearest friends sent me today... I hope you like it as much as I do:


along long time ago, which was only yesterday but could have been
tomorrow there was a little girl who was in love with a big white horse
one night she heard a knock on the window and when she opened her eyes
she felt very scared
at last
she collected the courage, in the old dusty corners of her room, to climb
on the windowcill and pull away the sea blue curtains
what she found truly amazed her
there, outside her window stood the big white horse with a red ribbon attached
around its neck
and flying around its head was a strange looking creature
this annoyed her
because it could imply that what she was experiencing, was in fact a dream...
although lately she has discovered that when you stir your dreams with your
wishes and you let it simmer for a while
adding a sprinkle of fantasy and just a pinch of reality
something amazing happens
life is born

and so, she was truly happy by what she saw
leaping out the window she climbed on top of the horse
and as if by some miracle the horse suddenly grew wings
she closed her eyes
for one last moment she just wanted to confirm
she wanted some kind of sign to ensure her that this was indeed all happening
that it was real
a tear of joy, a tear of confusion, a tear of hope and awe ran down her cheek
as they flew into the night

she held on so tightly
and felt the warm body of the horse underneath her
as they drifted between the sky
looking down
looking up
thing suddenly started to look the same
she could not tell what was up or down
she could not identify her home anymore
she was drifting in space on the back of a big white horse with a red ribbon around its neck
the further, or closer [depending which way you want to look at it], they went the more
things started to merge into one another
and at last
all that she saw
was colour
colour merging into one another, spiralling, dancing with one another
at that moment she realised something rather profound
she had what some might refer to as an epiphany
she just called it an 'aaahhhaaa' moment

it suddenly dawned upon her that her lifelong wish; flying on the back of a big white
horse [the red ribbon was just an extra prop to enhance the moment] was not only her wish...
because the lifelong dream of the big white horse was to fly amongst the stars with a little girl on its back
and so it happened that in fact two wishes came true through one dream
that appeared to be real but smelled like a fantasy

a moment of joy was released
as she understood that she has always been flying amongst the stars on the back of her horse
the ending and beginning only manifested the moment she started to question reality